My thought process when re-watching RED

1. Oh Bruce you charmer
2. Aw it’s cute that they bond over bad erotic literature
3. You know, cause it’s Bruce Willis. (Guitar music as he takes out assassins in his house)
4. Don’t try this at home.
5. WHY DON’T THE NEIGHBOURS TWITCH AT CURTAINS OR RUN OUT SCREAMING?!
6. Oh right cause buying dinner = invitations for “coffee”
7. Mary-Louise Parker has pretty big eyes when she does that. Contact lenses me thinks?
8. God my gran would totally have vacuumed too. More than. Dust. Tidy. All of it.
9. N’aw Bruce. 
10. Bruce Willis’s head and neck ratio is interesting. 
11. That’s it, let it out Sarah.
12. Does William Cooper’s wife know he kills people for a living?
13. Ouch. (Ducktape)
14. No, she does NOT want to watch t.v without the ability to change channel.
15. Oh, Morgan, you dirty, dirty old man.
16. What IS that tracksuit you’re wearing btw Morgan?
17. That bed was REALLY badly made.
18. Hah she’s high.
19. CHOREOGRAPHY <3333
20. I think Bruce has done it so many times, they don’t need to slow down the scenes - he actually DOES get out of cars in slo-mo.
21. Good old America. You put your weapon down and still get tackled.
22. Aw, don’t be sad, Morgan :(
23. OMG evil eyes from Mary-Louise Parker is too funny to take seriously.
24. Bruce you know that is an old guy’s jacket, right?
25. This whole China Town scene reminds me of that episode of Sherlock.
26. ‘The Record’s Keeper’ sounds like such a fantasy character. 
27. John Malkovich is so awesome.
28. I love that he thinks tin foil will help him somehow. 
29. Can’t believe that John Malkovich was Valmont in Dangerous Liasons.
30. Duh, decoy!
31. Yay! The pig!
32. He has such funny teeth.
33. Wonder where her camera went.
34. I swear James Remar is just wearing his costume from Dexter.
35. “shake the tree”?
36. Wow, you’re going down for saying that.
37. Can’t believe they show a man blow up into smithereens like that. 
38. Who did the soundtrack?
39. Oh Brian, you and your funny Russian accent. 
40. Kinda remind me of Vlad in Anastasia. 
41. I swear this sort of thing is the only time I’m ok with people going on about how they miss killing people - I mean, it’s psycho talk.
42. Cool down Sarah, death or life imprisonment isn’t that awesome…
43. What does “cute hair” even mean?
44. Bruce, you’re too old to pick fights like this.
45. MORGAN
46. The tea set suggests she knew they were coming…
47. Helen Mirren is so classy. Love her little accent.
48. God I hate Richard Dreyfuss’s voice.
49. What is that accent, Morgan?
50. Oh, Morgan ._.
51. Keep expecting him to say, “I said someone, not me! Dude!”
52. Aw, Bunny.
53. The three bullets in the chest thing is amazing - but how did MI6 not make sure he was dead, rather than just borderline?
54. Tact is not your forte, Marvin.
55. I want Helen Mirren and Brian Cox to get married. (As their characters obviously)
56. Ding ding ding. (William’s realisation of Bruce’s whereabouts)
57. Poor William - it was a bit mean of Bruce to use his family like that.
58. Not sure ‘love’ is quite what the VP will be feeling, Marvin
59. How do they know which bin will be used?
60. God I hate women that talk all clueless the way she just had to before knocking out security.
61. Combat boots <3
62. Hah, panic.
63. The Vice Pres has hardly any facial expression. He reminds me a bit of George Osbourne, but better looking. Still bland and weird though.
64. Ok, there he did. And he whimpered.
65. Poor kitchen staff.
66. You could have argued with her more, Marvin.
67. I bet they had to take loads of takes for this - John Malkovich is too funny
68. Yeah no, always listen to the crazy man splattered against your car.
69. Does the President know that the VP is currently a hostage?
70. FUCK that’s some horrific move there
71. HOW is that snogging doable in real life? without sloppiness and ick.
72. HOW does he keep going when he knows that John Malkovich is sitting right there and pulling that face.
73. OMG that wig.

Been a pleasure watching with you.