Blind Date with a Book: Delivery #1

Hello!

The "spoof fairy tale" I ordered, along with my subscription to Blind Date with a Book arrived yesterday - as did my new camera - so excitement all round!

It came well packaged in a cardboard book box, much as Amazon's would have, only better fitted.

Then when that postage packaging was removed I was presented with this lovely wrapping:

What could it be?!

Now, the aim of Blind Date with a Book.com is to help sell authors that maybe did not get as much recognition as they perhaps should have done, or to convince buyers to buy the book that they might not have from the cover or blurb.

I really should have seen what was coming next...  and as soon as I saw the spine, I groaned!

I already own it, don't I?  So now I have two copies of The Princess Bride - the first being somewhat under-read, I guess.  I shall see if there's anybody on Facebook who want it, I guess. :)

That's the risk I take, I guess - being sent a book I already owned/have already read.

I do kind of get it though - my first copy is actually in my "to give to a charity shop" pile.
On reflection though, I may give it another read - see if I take to it properly a second time. I was first given it and the dvd by my boyfriend during its resurgence in the late noughties and while I found it amusing I wasn't sure I quite "got" what everybody was going on about. I'll give it another go as a more mature reader of 27-almost-28, rather than 18-almost-19.

Bring on 6th March, when my first of 6 books arrives!

How to Make Sure Your Feminism is Intersectional

How To Make Sure Your Feminism is Intersectional
by Mia Mercado  for The Bustle

We can all agree that feminism supports the equality of all people, right? And we can all agree that people may have different identities which result in their having different experiences than each other, all of which are valid and worthy of equality, right? OK, good. If we’re in agreement on those two things, then we’re in agreement that making sure our feminism is intersectional is a key in the fight for equal rights.

The term “intersectional feminism” is credited to civil rights advocate and scholar Kimberle Crenshaw, who coined the term in her 1989 article, "Demarginalizing the Intersection of Race and Sex: A Black Feminist Critique of Antidiscrimination Doctrine, Feminist Theory, and Antiracist Politics." The article specifically addressed feminism and race, but essentially, intersectional feminism is the idea that each component of our identity — things like race, gender, LGBTQ status, ability, and so many more — does not exist in a vacuum. These parts overlap, compound, and intersect, creating a layered experience of oppression and discrimination. For example, a woman experiences sexism; a black person experiences racism; a gay person experience homophobia. However, a woman who is gay and black experiences all three. Understanding how each person experiences discrimination helps us better understand how we can combat it.

No one expects perfection when it comes being a better ally. And make no mistake: Allyship is inherent to intersection feminism. However, we can all work to make sure our fight for equality is inclusive of everyone. Here are eight ways to make sure your feminism is intersectional.

1)  It Includes People of Color

White feminism is often presented as the opposite of intersectional feminism. While is recognizing race is just one component of intersectional feminism, it’s usually the one at the forefront of the conversation. Feminism has a history of excluding women of color from the conversation. Intersectional feminism is the idea that rights of the majority do not usurp those of the minority. It understands that the wage gap disproportionately affects black, native, and Latina women. It understands that racists stereotypes and microaggressions persist, and that we need to do what we can to stop them. It recognizes that “color blindness” erases experiences of hate instead of working to eradicate them. As co-chair of the Women’s March Linda Sarsour has said, “If you want to know if you’re going the right way, brothers and sisters, follow a woman of color.”

2)  It Includes LGBTQ+ People

Intersectional feminism knows that equality is not exclusive to straight people (duh). It also recognizes that things like homophobia and heteronormativity persist regardless of laws on marriage equality. For example, the way female sexuality is stigmatized in a culture where being straight is the presumed “norm” is problematic. However, it becomes further complicated when you look at how it’s presented to people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and everything in between or outside. LGBTQ rights are human rights, and what is feminism if not the fight for equal human rights?

3) It Includes Trans and Non-Binary People

Intersectional feminism recognizes that equal rights are not exclusive to cis people. It understands that when we talk who is affected by period stigma, we aren’t just talking about cis women. It recognizes that while the statistics on sexual violence are shocking and impact everyone, transgender people are significantly more likely to be sexually assaulted than cisgender people. Intersectional feminism acknowledges that gender is not binary. It understands that while gender norms affect everyone, they do not affect everyone equally.

4)  It Doesn’t Ignore People with Disabilities

People with disabilities are arguably one of the most underrepresented populations that exist. Almost one in five people have a disability in the United States, making people with disabilities one of the largest minority groups in the country. Recognizing ableism that exists (in everything from language choices to the way we talk about activism) in turn recognizes the experiences of people with disabilities. If our feminism is ableist, it is not inclusive.

5) It’s Body Positive

Being body positive is, at its core, agreeing with the idea that all bodies are good bodies. Why does body positivity matter to feminism? Well, it’s no secret that women are widely underrepresented and misrepresented in the media. And the kind of women that are represented are pretty homogenous, especially in body shape. Like this video on body positivity states, the average woman in America is a size 14. If we want feminism to include things like equal representation in media, we need to include a more diverse idea of what a woman looks like.

6) It’s Sex Positive

Sex positivity is a key component of feminism as a whole. Simply put, it’s the idea that sex that is healthy and explicitly consensual is a positive thing. It also entails being respectful of other people’s choices and recognizing language that is slut-shaming, virgin-shaming, or sex-shaming in any way. It doesn't sitgmatize or exclude sex workers. Conversations about sex positivity and feminism need to include the full spectrum of sexuality because not all sex is between a cis man and a cis woman. The kind of sex-shaming straight people experience is different from the misconceptions about bisexual people and sex that exist. Intersectional feminism reminds us to be inclusive in those conversations.

7) It Doesn’t Speak Out of Turn

Being an intersectional feminist means being an ally to groups with which you don’t directly identify. And being a true ally means knowing when to pass the mic. To quote Lakin Starling from THE FADER, “Before I pitch an idea, I make sure I ask myself, Am I the right person to tell this story? It’s a blessing to be in a position to amplify the voices of other women in my work, but those women should also be in positions to be in control of their narratives.” We should all take a note from Starling and ask ourselves, “Am I the right person to tell this story?” and make sure we are speaking up, never over.

8) It Isn’t Just Centered Around Yourself and People Exactly Like You

Intersectional feminism is in part about including the rights of people whose experiences are different from our own. It doesn’t prioritize the rights of the most privileged, visible populations. It means working to consistently deconstruct our own unconscious biases and understand the prejudices we’ve all internalized.

If that sounds difficult, good; it is difficult. But simply understanding that these unconscious biases we hold are complex is the first step to breaking them down. Like Jarune Uwujaren and Jamie Utt write in this piece for Everyday Feminism, “Feminism isn’t here for your comfort.” And self-reflection can certainly be unconformable. We need to be willing to recognize and acknowledge when we make mistakes, because we are going to make mistakes. It’s necessary to understand and agree on what is a problem in order to arrive at a solution.

Feminism, at its core, is the belief that people deserve equal rights regardless of social categorizations like gender. Intersectional feminism is the assurance that equality isn’t exclusive. Because if your feminism doesn’t inclusive everyone, whose equal rights are you actually fighting for?

I'd also like to add: It doesn't have to be about rights in just your own country: The fight doesn't stop when you perceive yourself to be in a country that is fairly equal. A lot of people will tell me, "well why be a feminist if you're doing alright in the UK? It's not like America or Africa"

I answer: Because feminism isn't just about me, it's about everybody.  If there's a little something I can do to help women in America or other parts of the world, then that's great.

The political scene on the internet is pretty US-Centric.  I know almost as much (possibly more in some areas) about US politics and laws as I do about the laws of my own country! (UK)  That doesn't mean I can shrug it off and say, "well I'll just be a feminist here and do less because I have reproductive rights and access to decent education" - no, it's not equal anywhere and even if it means helping to influence change online or by teaching the next generation, that is what I should be doing to help.

Feminism is for everybody and feminism needs to be everywhere.

Book Review: The Dog Who Dared To Dream by Sun-mi Hwang

SYNOPSIS

This is the story of a dog named Scraggly. Born an outsider because of her distinctive appearance, she spends most of her days in the sun-filled yard of her owner's house. Scraggly has dreams and aspirations just like the rest of us. But each winter, dark clouds descend and Scraggly is faced with challenges that she must overcome. Through the clouds and even beyond the gates of her owner's yard lies the possibility of friendship, motherhood and happiness - they are for the taking if Scraggly can just hold on to them, bring them home and build the life she so desperately desires. The Dog Who Dared to Dream is a wise tale of the relationship between dog and man, as well as a celebration of a life lived with courage.

Translated into English for the first time, it is a classic from Sun-mi Hwang, an international bestselling author.

I came across this when hiding from the weather in Waterstones. Ever since Borders closed in the late noughties, Waterstones has become my favourite shop to be in. I rarely leave there empty-handed. It is a very dangerous shop. In fact, I have two more books I got there recently I haven't yet started.

I read the blurb and skimmed a couple of pages and knew I'd love this book. It has the lovely, simple language style a lot of books from that part of the world. 

Scraggly's life is very difficult. She is an outside dog, living in the garden of her owner who are clearly not a well-off family.  She is the scruffy dog of the litter, scrappy and difficult. She has to watch as her good-looking siblings are sold one-by-one until one day her mother and remaining siblings are taken too - in the most violent and heart-wrenching way. Scraggly is all that is left of her family and soon becomes the breeding dog for the man who owns her. We see her mature and have pups of her own - who are also sold. We see her struggle with the knowledge that the man who took her first family keeps returning to her oblivious owner to scout out more valuable pups from them.

This story is not cute or particularly happy - it's hard-hitting and full of loss and hardships. There are moments of wry humour, though, and heart-warming character arcs, for all that it is only 160 pages of simple sentences and short chapters.

I could not put the book down, pausing only to let things sink in or to blink away tears.  It is a book I will probably read a few more times - there is something really enchanting about it.

This is a story about relationships - between dog and man, dog and other animals, workers and bosses, outcasts and the bonds that bind like-souls together.

The relationship between Scraggly and her owner, and even between Scraggly and the sarcastic, sadistic cat next door, will bring tears to your eyes.

9/10  Definitely recommend it, especially if you're looking for a short book that's different.

Lyveden New Bield

One lovely spring day, Him Indoors and I ventured out to a National Trust house in Northamptonshire.

It is an incomplete Elizabethan moated house. When we say 'incomplete', we mean in the full sense of the word. It has its walls and it has window and door ways, but it does not have a roof or floors or even proper stairways.

It is in the middle of nowhere - surrounded by fields and woodlands, including its own orchard!

It was to be the home of Thomas Tresham, who died in 1605, before it could be completed. However the history of the land the house is built on dates back to the Roman times, chosen for its rich ore mines and the hunting in Rockingham forest nearby.

It was left alone for 4 centuries until in 1922 it was protected. It wasn't until excavation and restoration in the 1990s that its unique garden was uncovered and lovingly repaired for visitors to see.

Lyveden, pronounced "Lived-in" (Ironic, right?!) has some of the oldest gardens in the country. Part of it was landscaped into a spiral mound, a feature of Elizabethan quirkiness.

The building itself is designed in the shape of a cross and is perfectly symmetrical - although Catholicism at the time was heavily taxed, which is in part why it was never finished, there are loads of hints at his chosen branch of Christianity; the Passion of Christ was depicted in symbols around the outside of the house. The symbols were shown in sevens, always a mystical number.  I'm 100% sure he would have installed a priest bolt hole somewhere, cause you never know when you need to hide your priest.

Aside from being taxed to death, he had to find dowries for his 6 daughters - yes, it's the Elizabethan version of Pride and Prejudice! He did also have sons - who didn't amount to much, though one of them was involved in the Gunpowder Plot!

After we'd spent a lot of time in the orchards and gardens, (sorry about all the blossom photos) we tried to go to Rockingham forest but somehow ended up at Stanwick Lakes - also lovely! So the photos from the Swan onwards are from there. But look, there was a recreation of a Stone Age hut (not sure why) so it's still historical, ok?

Budapest 2016

Him Indoors and I won a competition! Yes! US.

When we were house-hunting, there was a "send us a selfie" competition thing and we decided to do it. Then we won. We got a £250 voucher for a holiday through some company or other.

We decided, Christmas 16, to cash it in and got flights and hotel-paid for few days in Budapest.

I had no knowledge, beforehand, of Hungarian history or Budapest itself, other than it was probably picturesque - this was down to stereotypes, based on my knowledge that it's on the beautiful Danube.

I wasn't wrong - it is a gorgeous city. Not exactly huge, it's spread across both sides of the river and is full of places of historical interest, particularly if you are into Soviet and Second World War history.


I'll try to walk you through it, mostly from a touristy. Unlike the Japan entries, I don't feel the need to do a day-by-day replay.  This is mostly as a "Thinking of visiting Budapest? GO FOR IT" entry. :)

I will embed a slide show of all images at the end of the post, but will use thumbnails of images pertaining certain sections of this entry.


Matthias Church

We stayed at the Buda Castle Fashion Hotel, a small hotel with decent sized rooms in District One, near the castle and beautiful St Matthias Church.

  

The Church is Roman Catholic and beautifully decorated on the outside with patterned roof tiles. It was founded in 1015, but there are no archaeological remains to support the Church tradition that it was built in the Romanesque style originally. The current building is built in the Gothic style of the later 14th century and was restored extensively in the 19th century, with typical stylistic choices of the time - good to know it wasn't just Victorian Britain that interfered with historical buildings!

   

Houses of Parliament

Opposite the church, across the river, are the ornate and beautiful Houses of Parliament.
 

In 1873, Budapest was united from 3 cities, requiring a new and representative Parliament building.  There was an international competition to design the new building and Imre Steindl won!  I can't say I blame them for their choice in building - it is stunning.  Up close, you get a proper sense of the amount of detail that went into this wonderfully pointy facade. According to Wikipedia:

About 100,000 people were involved in construction, during which 40 million bricks, half a million precious stones and 40 kilograms (88 lb) of gold were used.

   

They do offer tours of the building but as we went over Christmas, there weren't any running! Visitors are able to walk outside the entire building, through gardens with various memorial statues and artwork.  To the East was a memorial to the Hungarian revolution of the 1800s, and further round the corner there was the Kossuth Memorial, which was enormous.

 


That day, we walked around the building and through gardens, around the square, looking at the various sculptures and memorials that were there. We saw this one, complete with someone's teeny snowman.

  

Hungarian History

To say Hungary has a chequered past is putting it somewhat lightly.  The country has quite frequently been on the less sympathetic side of history, something that younger generations are trying to make clear to visitors and locals.

We came across a large sculpture depicting a giant German eagle swooping in, talons bared, onto a metaphor for Hungary.  In the 1940s, the Hungarian government was complicit in the Holocaust and  had a treaty with Germany and Italy, resulting in their working for the Axis powers and allowing the Nazis into Hungary, resulting in the invasion of Yugoslavia - something that subsequent leaders have been keen to brush under the carpet. This memorial was a stark reminder of this.  The large, evil Germany invading Hungary, absolving the previous governments of any responsibility or guilt they might have over their part in the Holocaust.

A counter memorial has been created by the local people that exposes the lies of the official one. It has belongings, recounts and photos of the hundreds of relatives that were killed during the massacre on the Danube (more about that in a moment), in the ghetto by the Synagogue or at other times during the 1940s.

Even during the allegiance with Nazi Germany, they were constantly trying to switch sides between Germany and the Soviets.  The Hungarian forces were decimated at the battle of Stalingrad. After the dissolution of the Monarchy in 1946, there was not much political luck again for the people of Hungary, as the country became part of the Soviet block - there is a striking statue at the top of the main hill on the Castle side of the river, called Liberty Statue. It commemorates the sacrifices of those who fought for the liberation of Hungary, and is thankful to the Soviets for rescuing them.

 

It is a wonderful, slightly taxing when it's slippy - walk and you get wonderful views of Budapest in the valley below, with the Danube snaking through.



Jewish History

The history of Judaism in Budapest is, as in many European countries, not a happy one.

There is of course the famous memorial to those shot on the banks of the Danube.  The cast shoes are recreations of the shoes removed by those who were shot, their bodies conveniently carried away by the river. It is a simple but haunting reminder as you walk along the river.

 

While we were there, we saw that the Synagogue was open to visitors.  Those that know me know I am terribly interested in religion (though not a believer or follower of any) and in religious buildings - some of the greatest art, music and architecture came out of religious worship, whatever else one can say about the results of organised belief systems. Naturally, I was keen to go - as was Him Indoors - as I'd never been inside one before.

It is an incredibly interesting building. As you go in, of course your bags are searched. Security is a priority there, and with good reason. The main part of the building is the place of worship itself, but it has the Jewish Museum attached and a memorial garden, which was the centre of the Ghetto from the 1940s. Hundreds of people died here, either through massacre or starvation and disease. Confiscated items and donated things too are displayed in the museum - letters to people outside of the ghetto. Diaries, wedding certificates, shoes or photos. Very personal items, much like the items you see at the Hisohima museum - forcing visitors to recognise the crimes against humanity for what it was: personal.

    

It is worth a visit - from a architectural point of view, it's interesting to see how the traditional design of Synagogue was blended with the buildings surrounding it.  Historically, it was important, too.

The rest of Budapest

We saw a lot - we went to the art galleries in the castle. There are memorials everywhere. There is - of course - the obligatory panoramic view from atop a church tower in the centre of town, where we visited the Christmas Market.

You can get boat trips on the Danube and there are plenty of places to eat wonderful food. Goulash is officially my favourite soup, now.  Although expensive, we also recommend the food at the Paris Budapest restaurant in the Sofitel. SO GOOD.

Word to the wise: If you need the toilet in Budapest and you think, "I'll just pop into KFC/McDonald's/GenericFastFoodChain", you WILL be required to purchase something. The door key is on your receipt.

We also found various places that were just cool. Not far from our hotel, in District 1, is an underground labyrinth experience, where apparently Count Dracula was once imprisoned. As you go through, you'll see some Operatic scenes depicted with mannequins while the sounds of the opera echo through the tunnels... there's also a completely pitch black section where all you can do is follow the rope in the wall. You are taking round in circles and up and down a bit before being deposited not too far from where you first went in. Very cool but not ideal for those who are perhaps claustrophobic or scared of the dark or have balance issues.

There is also a military hospital built into the wall of the city on that side, which was a massive bunker. It wasn't open when we were there but we'd definitely go if we went back.

There is also a large Ruin bar scene for the night light. There are lots of abandoned factories and industrial buildings that have been bought out and turned into hipster bars - largely outside in their courtyards.

So yeah. That is a little snapshot of Budapest.
We really enjoyed ourselves and we will probably go back one day - in the summer, to enjoy it all the more!

Blind Date with a Book

I've updated the blog so that I have "pages" which help to filter out posts related to certain topics.  Books, it turns out, is my main thing. I'd love to continue to do more about books and travel - my two favourite hobbies, so easily combined.

I've been toying with this idea for a while and after chatting with my new friend (hurrah! New friend!) about books and how her sister, who works in publishing, has been sending her random books to read without any explanation, I decided to go for the plunge.

I am having blind dates with books.

It is not, as my fiance immediately assumed, me meeting people who've read the same book. No, it is subscribing to six months of book deliveries (the subscription works out cheaper than ordering 6 books individually and paying the postage) from Blind Date with a Book.com

I've chosen Romantic, Adventure, Mystery, Historical, Humorous and Dark Humour as genre/categories.  We'll see what we get.

And, prone to spotting books that interest me whenever I'm in a book store, highstreet or online, I ordered a "Fairytale Spoof" that is apparently funny and hits every note I love to look for.

So we shall see!

In the mean time, I'm back-dating and blogging stuff just cause I have a backlog of interesting (in my humble opinion) stuff to write about!

Blogging and intentions and things.

Ok so it's been a long long time since I last logged in and then successfully wrote and published something.

I have thought about it. I have thought about it a lot - but there's always something in the way: moving; work; tiredness; illness; lack of inspiration; anxiety that what I have to say isn't meaningful enough; writer's block etc etc.


I just had another brain wave: I know! I'll separate out my blog into clear sections: personal, travel, feminism etc.

I don't even know if I can do that on blogger. Maybe I can. I'll certainly give it a go. I used to have a writing blog where I posted my god-awful poems (yes I had that phase - I gave it a go, anyway) and some short stories that actually on rereading weren't as bad.  I still do, cause I don't think I'd be ok deleting it outright, but it's on complete privacy lock down so you can't get to it!

The point of a blog is to share into the void.  The void rarely listens or writes back.

Then I watched Julia & Julie for the first time on netflix and was like "omg, we do cooking and stuff, maybe I could do a food blog too" and then of course I'm like, but when would I do it?

I also have some thoughts on teaching and my practise and the things I've noticed in others'  (I am a mentor to two trainees on the second half of their first placement. How bananas is that?!)...  But again, I'm not sure this is the platform?

Maybe I should stop trying to organise my life into boxes.  My friend has this with instagram. She has all her amazing photography on there, but is never sure whether to post that gorgeous shot of her food that she wants to remember, even though instagram is THE place to do that - just because it doesn't fit with the rest of her serious stuff. My instagram is a mess. It has make up bits, travel photography, sunsets, sunrises, random hilarious stuff I have seen... it is not organised at all.

So why do it with my blog? I don't know - maybe to give me a bit more sense of focus.  I want to write. I enjoy writing. Maybe by having a couple of sections with clear focus, I can then at least keep some parts more regularly than others.

So yeah. Watch this space.